Episode Notes

Getting Bigger And Smaller Pt 2 – Kerrin Wallis [15/07/2018 AM]

Healthy dynamics in relationships within Connect Groups

Key Scripture

2 Samuel 23: 8-12, 18 – David’s Mighty Men

These are the names of the mighty men whom David had: Josheb-Basshebeth the Tachmonite, chief among the captains. He was called Adino the Eznite, because he had killed eight hundred men at one time. And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, one of the three mighty men with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there for battle, and the men of Israel had retreated. 10 He arose and attacked the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand stuck to the sword. The Lord brought about a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to plunder. 11 And after him was Shammah the son of Agee the Hararite. The Philistines had gathered together into a troop where there was a piece of ground full of lentils. So the people fled from the Philistines. 12 But he stationed himself in the middle of the field, defended it, and killed the Philistines. So the Lord brought about a great victory.

18 Now Abishai the brother of Joab, the son of Zeruiah, was chief of another three. He lifted his spear against three hundred men, killed them, and won a name among these three.  19 Was he not the most honoured of three? Therefore he became their captain. However, he did not attain to the first three. 20 Benaiah was the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man from Kabzeel, who had done many deeds. He had killed two lion-like heroes of Moab. He also had gone down and killed a lion in the midst of a pit on a snowy day. 21 And he killed an Egyptian, a spectacular man. The Egyptian had a spear in his hand; so he went down to him with a staff, wrested the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand, and killed him with his own spear. 22 These things Benaiah the son of Jehoiada did, and won a name among three mighty men. 23 He was more honoured than the thirty, but he did not attain to the first three. And David appointed him over his guard.

Theme of Message

We need to carefully choose the people we form relationships with so that we have a healthy dynamic within our group of friends. People who will encourage us to be the best we can be in God.


Consider the Mighty men of David as compared to the Sons of Korah

David’s men were legends, men’s men, remarkable men who stood out from other men

David’s men encouraged one another in healthy exploits, stepped out in faith, were brave and tenacious in their faith and were strong and of good courage.

Sons of Korah bought themselves down because of their unhealthy relationships – they conspired together against Moses and Aaron.

They were whinging and complaining because they hadn’t seen the victory in the Promised Land and they had convinced themselves that they would never see the Promised Land under Moses

The Sons of Korah and their families were destroyed by God.

Your family rely on you to make right decisions.

Main Points

  • A healthy place (Connect Group) calls out the promises of God rather than dwell on problems.
  • Kerrin’s friends encouraged their mate who was afraid of heights. They helped him overcome his fears by constantly pressuring him to join them in their exploits. They helped him to lift the bar with encouragement.
  • Don’t be problem focused – it is an unhealthy environment. Be encouraging instead.
  • Good friends call greatness out of you by assuring you that you are bigger than the little stuff.
  • A healthy place speaks God word, blessings and promises to you. They encourage you that the best is yet to come, to have a go and help you to succeed.
  • Gideon was insecure and scared – hiding from life. Judges 6:12 but God called him a mighty man of valour.
  • God calls out greatness and potential. A healthy group of friends should too.
  • Jesus calls out the best in you and sees greatness within you.
  • Luke 8:22 The disciples were in the boat with Jesus when he went to sleep during a storm – he was confident but the disciples were fearful. He was teaching them to be confident in God.
  • Jesus then asked the disciples to feed the five thousand but they still doubted.
  • Luke 9 37-43 Jesus cast out demons from a child.
  • He encouraged the disciples to have faith to cast out demons.
  • Find a group where you are encouraged to grow in your walk with God.
  • Be wary of people who are always expressing caution – they are not faith builders.
  • A healthy place gathers around a cause – not a catastrophe (Sons of Korah)
  • Some people live in a life of drama – either imagined or made up. They look for drama and find it.
  • Cause people do something about it – cause driven (David and Goliath – 1 Samuel 17)
  • The Israelites studied the catastrophe. They could only see the weight of Goliath’s sword, his armour and how tall he was.
  • David was cause driven and he defeated Goliath.
  • He had great people around him.
  • Jesus was cause driven.
  • The Religious Leaders lived in the catastrophe.
  • Luke 5:17 Nathan Hulls preached about the people sitting by close enough to criticise but not help. They had lots of opinions but no solutions.
  • Four friends were cause driven. They helped the lame man who would never have received his miracle without their help.


  • Things in the past can’t be changed so be future focussed.
  • Believe God so you can take the next step.
  • Get around cause driven people, who point you to the promises of God.
  • Don’t be caught up in the catastrophe, turn your eyes upon Jesus.
  • We are for Jesus and his promises for our lives
  • You will only have good friends if you invest in them.
  • Do life together.
  • Be in a positive group

Suggestions for Discussion Questions

  1. What are the benefits of a positive group?
  2. What is the difference between David’s men and the Sons of Korah?
  3. What happens when we surround ourselves with positive people?
  4. How do we invest in good friends?